How long Conan the Engineer spent bounding lithely across the plain, he never afterwards could tell, for it seemed both that he covered great distance and that he spent no time at all, for every time that his legs wearied, he would drink from the ever more bountiful stream of aromatic liquid, and his limbs would fill with vitality, and send him once more across the leagues with purpose and energy. as the stream became a great river.
His journey came to an end, however, when he reached the headwaters of the wonderful fluid, from whence the trickles and rivers he had tracked originated. At the end of the river crouched a giant toad, slowly drooling forth gallons of the stuff. In spite of his delight in drinking it, Conan could not help but feel slightly sickened. Nonetheless, a warrior who has spilled the slimy viscera of his foes upon multiple battlefields will not be easily stopped by so small a thing as a drooling toad. He stepped manfully forward and demanded "What is this wonderful liquid, and how can such a disgusting thing as you produce it?"
The toad paused in its drooling and replied "This is coffee, the gift of the gods, brought to us even by so lowly a medium as the goats upon the holy mountain, who danced for joy on tasting even the beans. I am incompetence, who takes even this lifegiving elixir and makes of it an irritation and annoyance. I do this thing because it is my nature, and I am too apathetic to change."
So saying, the creature belched forth a great flood, and soaked Conan from clew to earing. Whereupon Conan lifted his poleaxe and clove the creature in twain.
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